What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Is LGBTQ destroying the world?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn’t transparent about his past, it hurts me and he doesn’t care. I told him in the beginning of our relationship that it was a deal breaker for me what do I do?

What do you mean son?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Why do I (45, male) feel like I'm crushing on a girl (19, female)?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Do you know what she said mum?

True - how I loved my mum!

What is the American mobile phone number format?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”